Terms of Service
Effective Date: 6 February 2026I. Acceptance of Terms
By accessing, downloading, or utilising "The Beaufort Dispatch" (hereinafter referred to as "The Publication"), you agree to be bound by these Terms of Service. If you do not agree, you must cease using The Publication immediately. The Editor accepts no dissent on this matter.
II. The Nature of Forecasts
The Publication provides meteorological data derived from reputable sources (e.g., Open-Meteo). However, the weather is by nature a chaotic and fickle beast.
Limitation of Liability
We accept no liability for:
- Unanticipated downpours during garden parties.
- Incorrect clothing choices based on "The Constitutional" advice.
- Damp laundry resulting from reliance on the "Laundry Index."
- General dissatisfaction with the British climate.
III. User Conduct
You agree not to use The Publication for any unlawful purpose. You shall not attempt to reverse-engineer the "wit" of the Editor, nor scrape our data for cheerful purposes.
IV. Intellectual Property
The typographic composition, "broadsheet" layout, and specific editorial voice of The Beaufort Dispatch are the intellectual property of Fenwig Technologies Ltd. Reproduction without express written permission is strictly prohibited and considered bad form.
V. Termination
We reserve the right to terminate access to The Publication for any user who violates these terms, or who persistently complains about the lack of "sunny" icons.